Every parent has been there: the sudden, floor-thumping, ear-splitting meltdown in the middle of the grocery store. In that moment, it’s easy to feel frustrated, embarrassed, and helpless. But what if we reframed these intense moments? What if, instead of seeing a “bad kid,” we saw a child who is overwhelmed by a big feeling they don’t have the tools to manage?

Tantrums and meltdowns are often signs that a child is struggling with emotional regulation—the ability to understand, manage, and express emotions in healthy ways.¹ This is not a character flaw; it’s a skill deficit. Just as children learn to walk and talk, they must also learn how to handle feelings like anger, frustration, and disappointment.

Occupational therapists (OTs) are experts in this area, using practical, body-based strategies to help children’s nervous systems calm down and organize. The best part is that many of these powerful techniques can be easily adapted for use at home. Instead of just managing behavior, these strategies teach your child the essential life skills they need to navigate their emotional world.

1. “Heavy Work”: Give Their Muscles a Job

One of the most effective OT strategies is something called “heavy work.” This refers to any activity that involves pushing, pulling, or carrying heavy objects. These actions provide deep input to the muscles and joints (proprioceptive input), which has a powerful calming and organizing effect on the nervous system.² When a child is feeling agitated or overwhelmed, giving their body a big job to do can help them feel more grounded and in control.

Simple Ways to Do Heavy Work at Home:

• Be a Helper: Have your child push a full laundry basket to the laundry room, carry in grocery bags, or help you move dining room chairs back to the table.²
• Play Construction: Let them stack heavy pillows and cushions to build a fort or push a “bulldozer” (a cardboard box full of toys) across the room.²
• Kitchen Fun: Let them knead bread dough or thick playdough with their hands.⁵

Therapist’s Tip: Heavy work can be used proactively. If you know a transition or outing is likely to be stressful, engage your child in 5-10 minutes of heavy work before you go. This can help “fill their cup” and make them more resilient to stress.²

2. Deep Pressure: The Power of a Good Squeeze

Similar to heavy work, deep pressure provides calming proprioceptive input.⁶ Think of the comfort of a firm hug or a weighted blanket. This type of input activates the part of the nervous system responsible for rest and relaxation.¹ When a child is in the middle of a meltdown, their “fight or flight” system is in overdrive. Deep pressure can help switch that off and bring their body back to a state of calm.

Simple Ways to Use Deep Pressure:

• Firm Hugs: Offer a firm “bear hug,” gently squeezing their arms and torso.
• Make a “Burrito”: Roll your child up snugly in a blanket, making sure their head is out.
• Pillow “Sandwich”: Gently press down on your child with a large pillow or cushion as they lie on the floor (always ensuring their face is clear and they enjoy the sensation).

Therapist’s Tip: This is a powerful co-regulation tool. It means you are lending your calm to your child and using your body to help their body feel safe and regulated. Never force this; follow your child’s cues.

3. Create a “Calm-Down Corner”

A calm-down corner is not a time-out chair. It is a positive, safe space that a child can go to when they feel their emotions getting too big.⁹ The goal is to teach them to recognize their own need for a break and empower them with tools to self-soothe.

How to Set Up Your Corner:

• Location: Choose a quiet, visible corner of a main living area, away from major distractions like the TV.⁹
• Make it Cozy: Fill it with soft things like a beanbag chair, large pillows, a fuzzy rug, or a weighted blanket.¹¹
• Add Calming Tools: Include a few sensory items like a glitter jar, squishy stress balls, fidget toys, soft stuffed animals to hug, or books with calming pictures.⁹
• Include Visuals: A simple poster showing faces with different emotions can help your child identify and name how they are feeling.¹¹

Therapist’s Tip: Introduce the calm-down corner when your child is already calm and happy. Explore the space together and model how to use the tools. Frame it as their special spot to “take a break” so it always has a positive association.⁹

4. Rhythmic, Repetitive Movement

The vestibular system, located in our inner ear, is responsible for our sense of balance and spatial awareness. Certain types of movement can provide powerful input to this system, helping to organize and calm the entire nervous system.¹ For a child on the verge of a meltdown, slow, rhythmic, and predictable movement can be incredibly regulating.

Simple Ways to Use Calming Movement:

• Slow, linear swinging on a playground or indoor swing.⁷
• Gently rocking in a rocking chair.⁷
• Slowly bouncing on a large yoga or therapy ball.⁷

Therapist’s Tip: The key here is “slow and steady.” Fast, unpredictable, or spinning movements are typically alerting and can make an overstimulated child even more dysregulated. Stick to gentle, back-and-forth or up-and-down motions.⁷

5. Oral Sensory Input

The mouth is a powerhouse of sensory receptors. Activities that involve sucking, chewing, and blowing provide organizing proprioceptive input and can be very calming.⁷ This is why babies suck their thumbs to self-soothe and why many adults chew gum when they are concentrating or stressed.⁸

Simple Ways to Use Oral Input:

• Offer Crunchy Snacks: Foods like carrots, apple slices, pretzels, or crackers require strong chewing, which is a form of heavy work for the jaw.⁷
• Drink Through a Straw: Drinking a thick liquid, like a smoothie, yogurt, or applesauce, through a straw makes the mouth muscles work hard.⁷
• Blow Bubbles: The act of blowing bubbles encourages deep, controlled breaths, which is a natural relaxation technique.⁷

Therapist’s Tip: This is a fantastic “in-the-moment” strategy for when you’re on the go. A small bag of crunchy snacks or a water bottle with a straw can be a lifesaver during a stressful car ride or a long wait in line.

By using these OT-approved strategies, you can shift your approach from reacting to tantrums to proactively teaching your child the skills they need to manage their big feelings.

If you found these strategies helpful and want to explore a more personalized “sensory diet” for your child, our occupational therapists specialize in creating fun, effective programs. Learn more about our emotional regulation support here.