We all want to spend quality time with our kids. We get down on the floor. We pick up a toy. And then… we accidentally ruin it.

• “What color is this block?” (Quizzing)
• “No, put the cow in the barn, not on the roof.” (Directing)
• “Let’s build a tall tower!” (Taking over)

Without realizing it, we turn playtime into a lesson or a project managed by the adult. But research into Child-Led Play shows that children learn best when they are the directors and we are the assistants.

This approach is used in a therapy called PCIT (Parent-Child Interaction Therapy), but every parent can use the “PRIDE” skills to become the ultimate play partner.

Why “following the lead” matters

When you follow your child’s lead, you send a powerful message: “Your ideas matter. You are capable. I am interested in your world.” This builds self-esteem and lengthens their attention span. If you constantly interrupt their flow to correct them or teach them, they lose interest and walk away.

The “PRIDE” Skills of Play

Here is a cheat sheet on how to play with your child, not at your child.

1. P – Praise Specific praise reinforces good behavior. Instead of “Good job,” say: “I love how gently you are holding that doll.” or “You are stacking those blocks so carefully.”

2. R – Reflect Repeat what your child says. This validates them and helps language development. Child: “The car go vroom!” Parent: “Yes, the car goes vroom! It is fast!” It shows you are listening.

3. I – Imitate If they are pushing a train, you push a train. If they are drawing a circle, you draw a circle. Imitation is the highest form of flattery. It creates a “sync” between parent and child. It says, “I want to do what you are doing.”

4. D – Describe (Sportscasting) Narrate what they are doing, like a sports commentator. “You are picking up the red horse. You are putting him in the fence. Oh, now he is jumping over!” This keeps you focused on them without asking questions. It floods their brain with vocabulary without pressure.

5. E – Enthusiasm Show enjoyment! If you look bored, they will know. Smile, clap, and use an expressive voice.

The “Don’t” List

To really follow their lead, try to avoid these three things for just 10 minutes a day:

1. No Commands: Don’t say “Put that there” or “Hand me the blue one.”
2. No Questions: Questions (especially testing questions like “What shape is this?”) stop the flow of play. They force the child to perform for you.
3. No Criticism: Don’t correct their reality. If they say the sky is green, then the sky is green.

Try the 5-Minute Special Time

You don’t have to do this all day. It is exhausting. Try just 5 minutes a day of pure, child-led play. Set a timer. Put your phone away. Get on the floor. Let them be the boss. You might be surprised at how much they open up, how much longer they play, and how much more connected you feel afterwards.

At Little Land, we provide the space, but you are the best toy in the room. By learning to follow their lead, you unlock a new level of relationship with your child.